2010 finally

The year has ended and the following has been achieved:

Books:

1. Die Trying, Lee Child
2. Between the Assassinations, Aravind Adiga
3. Four past midnight, Stephen King
4. The Magic Finger, Roald Dahl
5. My name is Red, Orhan Pamuk
6. Next, Michael Crichton
7. The New Human Revolution Volume 1, Daisaku Ikeda
8. The Immortals of Meluha, Amish
9. The Reincarnationist, M J Rose
10. Tripwire, Lee Child
11. The Prestige, Christopher Priest
12. Black Out, Lisa Unger
13. Dubai, Jim Krane
14. Raiders from the North, Alex Rutherford
15. Gang Leader for a Day, Sudhir Venkatesh
16. A Prisoner of Birth, Jeffrey Archer
17. The Visitor, Lee Child
18. Towards Zero, Agatha Christie
19. The New Human Revolution Volume 2, Daisaku Ikeda
20. Many Lives, Many Masters, Dr Brian Weiss
21. The New Human Revolution Volume 2, Daisaku Ikeda
22. I can make you thin, Paul McKenna
23. Five Queen's Road, Sorayya Khan
24. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson
25. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, J K Rowling
26. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, J K Rowling
27. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, J K Rowling
28. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J K Rowling
29. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, J K Rowling
30. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, J K Rowling
31. The Girl who played with fire, Stieg Larsson
32. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, J K Rowling

Movies:

1. Sherlock Holmes
2. Ishqiya
3. Rann
4. My name is Khan
5. Karthik calling Karthik
6. Insomnia
7. Speed Racer
8. LSD
9. Pirates of the Silicon Valley
10. Death of a President
11. Shutter Island
12. It's complicated
13. District 9
14. All the rivers run
15. Robin Hood
16. Kites
17. Up in the air
18. PS: I love you
19. Rajneeti
20. Raavan
21. Sex and the city 2
22. Shrek Forever
23. Natarang
24. Mission Impossible
25. Good Fellas 
26. Harishchandrachi Factory
27. Mission Impossible 2
28. Mission Impossible 3
29. I hate luv storys
30. Seven Samurai
31. Inception
32. Sin Nombre
33. Once upon a time in Mumbai
34. The Bear
35. Aisha
36. Following
37. Waterworld
38. Wall-E
39. Count of Monte Cristo
40. Doubt
41. Hangover
42. The Blind Side
43. Nights in Rodanthe
44. Cast Away
45. Little Miss Sunshine
46. Cleopatra
47. Funny Games
48. Dabangg
49. Babel
50. Tere bin Laden
51. A Bug's Life
52. Lucky number Slevin
53. Jait re Jait
54. Mi Shivajiraje Bhosle boltoy
55. Across the Universe
56. The Mummy
57. The Mummy Returns
58. State of Play
59. And then there were none
60. Break ke baad
61. Makdee
62. The Blue Umbrella
63. Band Baaja Baraat
64. Striker
65. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
66. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
67. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
68. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
69. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

TV:

1. Dirty Sexy Money, Season 1
2. Prison break, Season 4
3. Desperate Housewives, Season 5
4. The Shield, Season 1
5. Heroes, Season 3
6. Lost, Season 6
7. Dirty Sexy Money, Season 2
8. The Shield, Season 2
9. The Shield, Season 3
10. The Shield, Season 4
11. 24, Season 8
12. The Shield, Season 5
13. Mad Men, Season 3
14. The Shield, Season 6
15. Jeeves and Wooster, Season 1
16. Jeeves and Wooster, Season 2

The following is in progress.

Books:

1. The Bone Collector, Jeffrey Deaver
2. Must-have, Geoffrey Miller
3. The Monk who sold his Ferrari, Robin Sharma 

TV:

1. The Tudors, Season 1
2. Jeeves and Wooster, Season 3

An Update (of another kind)

Harry is in the middle of his second year at Hogwarts and is hearing ominous voices in the passages. The Chamber of Secrets has just been opened and Mrs Norris, Filch's cat, has been petrified.

Mikael Blomkvist has just stepped into a double homicide of Dag Svensson and Mia Johansson - two people that were working on a story for him. Lisbeth Salander is wondering why people are stalking her.

John has been visited by Julian Mantle after his sabbatical in the Himalayas. Julian is just about to start sharing the wisdom he has gleaned from the wise sages of Sivana that he encountered while there.

Bertie and Jeeves are in the United States. Jeeves has managed to extricate Bertie and his friends from looming disasters yet again. Tuppy Glossop from a potentially ruinous financial deal. And Wilmot from the blazing reproaches of his mother, Lady Malvern for letting the evils of the modern city ruin him and landing up in prison.

Claire Bennett is trying hard to be a normal college-going teenager with her new roommate, Gretchen. Noah Bennett is dealing with the dilemma of whether to start his old profession again. Sylar has resurrected from the dead yet again. Hiro Nakamura is dying and has just teleported himself to Peter Petrelli's apartment - apparently, only he can help him now. Samuel has finally found a new recruit in his circle of outcasts to replace his dead brother, Joseph.

Don Draper (or Dick Whitman) has just started his own agency with Roger Sterling, Bert Cooper and Lane Pryce as partners, after a coup against the British management of his former agency, Sterling-Cooper. His divorce is imminent and he's bracing for it. Coupled with this are his stresses of getting and holding on to new businesses for his new agency.

Vic Mackey is being forced to retire from the Barn and he's trying his best to hang on by forming an alliance with David Aceveda, the councilman. Claudette is desperately trying to keep the Barn from being shut down. Shane is still the enemy.

Jack Bauer has saved the world for the eighth time obviously after paying a huge personal price. Chloe has allowed him to escape by ordering Arlo to shut down the drone's video feed.

An Update

It's been some time. Again. I don't know why these slips happen. Probably, most likely it is because of work pressures.

Who am I kidding? I spend hours doing nothing. In fact I sometimes wonder if I do any work at all. Actually that's not true. I do some. But the truth is that time is ultimately about priorities.

So why isn't updating the blog a priority? Good question. There isn't any simple answer to that.

Most likely reason - I haven't been in a particularly expressive mood lately. There are things on the mind which cannot be shared. And nothing that can be shared is seemingly worth it.

Have been reading some and viewing some. Saw an old Agatha Christie classic - And then there were none. Remembered a dear friend (who I guess misses me at times) who is also a fellow fan of her work. So Dear Friend, if you read this, know that I thought of you - and that wasn't the only time. Just to spoil it for you, the movie ends differently than the book, but the killer is the same.

Read the first of the Millennium trilogy of Steig Larsson. Also about a third through the second one. I must admit that the first fifty pages were pretty tedious and needed a bit of plodding away. But once the book kicks in, it is amazingly good. After a long time, came across interesting characters and complex plotlines in a thriller. Someone whose literary taste I respect suggested The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco. Will probably pick it up sometime in life. Just another addition to the long list of things to view/read/do/visit.

Coming to another book that goes through like a breeze - Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. I had bought the entire set of the 7 books - hardbound box set about a year back. I removed the shrink wrap a couple days ago and have almost finished the first one. Plan to read the entire series again. It helps that I have forgotten quite a bit and Rowling's imagination and storytelling never ceases to amaze.

Caught up with an old friend after years. That was a lovely evening. Had dinner - Copper Chimney Chops. Friend had simple Daal-Rice. Discussed about this and that. Discussed about the book she's writing. If only she would put her nose to the grindstone and get it out of that head of hers, it would be an amazing piece of work. So Old friend, if you're reading this, you know what to do.

Otherwise life has been going on normally. Some fights, some distances, some reunions, some movies, some books, some music, some work, some party. Diwali cards sessions were all pretty ruinous in terms of winnings. So also on the waistline.

Need to go and meet my grandmother. She's not coping well with the loss. But she hurts more when people come to meet her. That's no excuse I know, so will drop in and see her over the weekend.

Looking forward to the Manila trip over Christmas and New Year. Lots of fun with lots of dear friends. Hate to start all the visa proceedings though. Can't delay it any further if I really have to go.

The year is fast hurtling to an end. Life just flies by. And I get the feeling these days that it is all too overwhelming. But this too shall pass.

It's been some time

Since I've done satisfying work.
Since I've taken a break.

Since I've finished a book.
Since I've watched a great movie.

Since I've really cried.
Since I've laughed out loud.

Since I've sat in my balcony.
Since I've cleaned my cupboard.

Since I've partied.
Since I've caught up with friends.

Since I've played chess with Amun.
Since I've hugged Aashay.

Since I've tinkered with the guitar.
Since I've sketched.

Since I've exercised.
Since I've had a lazy day.

Since I've listened to Mark
Since I've been inspired.

Since I've remembered my dreams in the morning.
Since I've slept in late.

Since I've had a Jack Daniel's
Since I've unwound.

Since I've blogged.

2010 so far

Nine months into the year and the following has been achieved.

Books:

1. Die Trying, Lee Child
2. Between the Assassinations, Aravind Adiga
3. Four past midnight, Stephen King
4. The Magic Finger, Roald Dahl
5. My name is Red, Orhan Pamuk
6. Next, Michael Crichton
7. The New Human Revolution Volume 1, Daisaku Ikeda
8. The Immortals of Meluha, Amish
9. The Reincarnationist, M J Rose
10. Tripwire, Lee Child
11. The Prestige, Christopher Priest
12. Black Out, Lisa Unger
13. Dubai, Jim Krane
14. Raiders from the North, Alex Rutherford
15. Gang Leader for a Day, Sudhir Venkatesh
16. A Prisoner of Birth, Jeffrey Archer
17. The Visitor, Lee Child
18. Towards Zero, Agatha Christie
19. The New Human Revolution Volume 2, Daisaku Ikeda

Movies:

1. Sherlock Holmes
2. Ishqiya
3. Rann
4. My name is Khan
5. Karthik calling Karthik
6. Insomnia
7. Speed Racer
8. LSD
9. Pirates of the Silicon Valley
10. Death of a President
11. Shutter Island
12. It's complicated
13. District 9
14. All the rivers run
15. Robin Hood
16. Kites
17. Up in the air
18. PS: I love you
19. Rajneeti
20. Raavan
21. Sex and the city 2
22. Shrek Forever
23. Natarang
24. Mission Impossible
25. Good Fellas
26. Harishchandrachi Factory
27. Mission Impossible 2
28. Mission Impossible 3
29. I hate luv storys
30. Seven Samurai
31. Inception
32. Sin Nombre
33. Once upon a time in Mumbai
34. The Bear
35. Aisha
36. Following
37. Waterworld
38. Wall-E
39. Count of Monte Cristo
40. Doubt
41. Hangover
42. The Blind Side
43. Nights in Rodanthe
44. Cast Away
45. Little Miss Sunshine
46. Cleopatra
47. Funny Games
48. Dabangg
49. Babel

TV:

1. Dirty Sexy Money, Season 1
2. Prison break, Season 4
3. Desperate Housewives, Season 5
4. The Shield, Season 1
5. Heroes, Season 3
6. Lost, Season 6
7. Dirty Sexy Money, Season 2
8. The Shield, Season 2
9. The Shield, Season 3
10. The Shield, Season 4
11. 24, Season 8
12. The Shield, Season 5
13. Mad Men, Season 3

The following is in progress.

Books:

1. The New Human Revolution Volume 3, Daisaku Ikeda
2. Five Queen's Road, Sorayya Khan

TV:

1. The Shield, Season 6
2. The Tudors, Season 1

Magic Carpet

Everyone has a magic carpet
You can use it in the air to soar
But if you just look a little closely
You'll find it nailed down to the floor

Busy? Lazy? Bit of both?

I have been absent from this space for four days. It's nothing remarkable in itself. I have had long spells of absence earlier. But when I was consistent for over two weeks and then absent for four days, it gets noticed.

Why was I absent? A mixture of being busy and being lazy. Contradictory I know. But that's what happens with everything you resolve to do and end up not doing. Daily life keeps us busy. And the grind of daily life makes us lazy in whatever spare time we have to do what we should do.

But once you just kick yourself to get back into it, it is not really such an ordeal.

I should do the same for the following:
1. Gym
2. Guitar
3. Sketching

As of now though, I am still in the avoidance phase for all of these.

Truth well told

I'm watching the third season of Mad Men. For those who don't know, it is a TV series about a hot-shot advertising creative director in an agency on Madison Avenue in the early sixties.

The guy is Don Draper. And his life is perfect. Looks like a million bucks, always dapper, has a mind that's razor sharp, acclaimed and respected for his work, women swooning all over him, the perfect family in the perfect suburban house. In short, his life is picture perfect. But he's a troubled guy. So troubled in fact, that he has several affairs, is always acerbic to the point of being terrorising, and has a general disdain for humanity wherever he goes. He has an empty life and he tries to fill it up with emptier trappings of success and intellectual affairs.

The real reason for this is that his life is a complete lie. In fact, even his identity is assumed. So he's a walking example of a falsely propped up reality.

I am sure the makers of the serial thought him up as a metaphor for advertising itself. David Ogilvy defined it as 'Truth well told'. But the basic premise of advertising is that while telling the truth well, you have to lie by omission or commission. Everything must be picture-perfect beautiful, but at the core of it all, there is an ugly falsehood or the ugly truth, depending on the way you choose to look at it.

The sixties were the height of the American dominance in the world market. As Draper says, 'The average American today has a lifestyle, which only kings in most of the world can dream of'. On the back of this prosperity, the advertising industry was booming. Brands were taking birth, being built and becoming legendary. And advertising was respected and held in awe for creating brands - for its ability to create something out of almost nothing.

In a lot of ways, the India of today is the same. Our confidence and optimism gives us a feeling of being absolutely invincible. Consumerism is at an all time high and only growing. Reports are rife about how India's middle-class is earning more and spending more. The numbers of the poor are declining and we are all headed to a Utopian world at breakneck speed.

It's a pity that advertising has degenerated to being a supplier industry rather than a knowledge industry. But nevertheless, it does play a vital role in the scheme of things.

I also am from the same industry. I too believe in brands - not just as a part of my work, but also as a buyer of them. I believe that showcasing a brand helps me project who I am. I have completely bought into this propped up reality that I help create and also partake in.

Life is really good.


PS: Incidentally, Mad Men has one of the most amazing title sequences I've ever seen. The only one that I don't fast-forward for every episode. Here it is:

Memories of Baba

1. Inculcating the love of reading by buying me my first Amar Chitra Kathas.
2. Drawing pictures for me to guess.
3. Getting his head massaged by me while watching Chhayageet.
4. House keys tied to his Brahmin string.
5. Getting dropped to school in a BEST bus making an unscheduled stop for us in between two bus-stops.
6. Playing Scrabble.
7. Dozing while watching the news.
8. Taking the pain to travel to Andheri just to help me with my studies.
9. Writing poetry.
10. Making tea in the morning.

He is now 88 and has fractured his hip. Bed-ridden and weak but his vital organs are all well. I don't know if he will walk again or even get off the bed. I don't know what to pray for him. Just peace and happiness I guess.

Nothing much

Just a lazy Sunday. Typically nothing achieved except a two-hour nap in the afternoon.

The week looms up ahead.

Analyse this

There are some things that make me a prude and a priss. And maybe yet another five-letter word starting with PR.

I don't like any timepiece that doesn't work. I can't stand clocks that show the wrong time. Sometimes at signals I can see dashboard clocks in other cars which are showing Sydney time. How can people live with that?

I don't like messy desks. They paralyze me. My desk is generally so spotlessly free that if I'm not at my seat, people would think no one even sits there. Most often they think that even while I'm sitting there anyway.

I can't imagine changing my profile picture on Facebook or my blog. How can people keep doing that with amazing regularity? In fact, I don't even have a picture of myself as my profile picture. It's just my signature and I don't see any reason for having it changed at all.

I can't handle books that are not covered. I can't stand anybody else covering my books. They just mess it up and then the book doesn't feel like it's mine anymore. Several times I've returned borrowed books after covering them and most times that hasn't even been noticed. Doesn't matter.

I don't like to miss a single frame in a movie. Not even the logo formations of Fox or Warner Bros or Universal or whoever. I have to be in my seat and ready before the lights dim. And I hate people who come in late and spoil it for others.

I have to straighten every picture-frame. If it is off-centre or tilted, it's enough to spoil my day. I even start getting a headache in some time. Also, I dislike typographical errors intensely.

Looks like I've given a lot of material to anyone wanting to psychoanalyse me.

The Good Son

Quite a few people have called me a good son. Only because I pick up my father from his dialysis sessions at the hospital every Monday and Thursday, on my way back from work.

This makes me really wonder. Is it such a big deal to do that? What if I would have had to go for dialysis when I was, say, ten years old? He would have been around 42 then. I would have been like how he is today - a little worried, a little scared and a lot dependent. He would have been like how I am today - strong, capable and mobile. He wouldn't have asked me to fend for myself - go by a rick and come back on my own fighting all the potholes.

He would have surely done his best to ease my pain. Being a father now, I can imagine myself dying everyday, if my child has to go through something like this. He would have died everyday for me too. Always wishing that he could somehow take my suffering upon himself.

I don't feel that way about him. I don't die everyday because he has to go through this trauma. I worry. I am concerned. I care. I love. But this is nowhere close to what it would be if it were to be reversed.

I am just a son. But he's a good father.

Feminism

Had a huge debate on feminism. Not feminity, feminism.

The need to clarify that was because, most people think anti-feminists are male chauvinists. I am not. I truly respect women. I think they can and do a lot more than men can ever do. Apart from the intellectual capabilities that they have, they also most often portray a certain sensitivity, which most of my race do not. They can be, and most often are, more than equal to men in every way.

So I am fully pro-feminity. But I am still anti-feminism. Feminism - that can be described as the cultural movement of women for equal rights.

I was coming from the point of view that there is an inherent, fundamental paradox in the feminist argument. When a party has to protest for equality, isn't that an admission of just the opposite? Even more so, when the movement transcends from being about getting rights for women to being about men bashing. And it most often does go there.

The clincher argument where I lost the debate was when the point about women in the third-world countries was brought up. Where would they be without the feminist movement? Having thought about it, I still feel that their lot hasn't really improved despite that. On the other hand, in a country like the United States, feminism has found a way out in making sure that the Obama government has employed women in all the key government posts. So we have a new-age Mandal Commission here, where people will get posts based on their sex, more than their merit.

That is the biggest fly in the feminist ointment. When masses come together in a movement, there is no scope for rationality. And the movement ultimately gets into various different agendas that had nothing to do with their main manifesto that they began with.

The best perspective on feminism which I have come across and I fully endorse is by Ayn Rand. To quote Nathaniel Branden, a former protege and lover of hers, "A feminism that sees woman at her best, as a heroic figure, will find support and validation in Rand's writings. A feminism that defines woman as victim and man as her evil oppressor will see Rand as the enemy."

Who better than Ayn Rand to give the best perspective on women?

Ten truly random thoughts

1. I play better Minesweeper if I start at the top left corner of the minefield.
2. Sacking somebody is not the most pleasant of things that you can do.
3. I am hovering somewhere between fully fit and fully unfit and that is not a nice feeling.
4. Little Miss Sunshine is a cute movie about a family of losers.
5. Can't wait to start the sixth season of The Shield.
6. I am running out of memory on my phone.
7. When people act like they need space, they probably mean the opposite.
8. Thanks to the Ganpati festival, I can hear three different loudspeakers from three different rooms in my house.
9. Rome (the TV series) is probably a million times better than Cleopatra (the Liz Taylor movie).
10. I need to clean up my inbox.

Everybody Hurts

Surfed a lot on YouTube today. Came across some very old music videos which I had seen growing old way back in the early nineties.

Over time, the music changed and so did the habits. There is hardly any time these days to sit back and keep watching MTV for songs that you love. But most importantly, the videos themselves are not a patch of what they used to be.

Take for example, Everybody Hurts by REM. What a song! And what an amazing video! Shot in a typical traffic jam with hundreds of cars and thousands of people stuck. And as the song progresses, the camera slowly romances the pain and angst on the faces of various people. All this with supers of what their thoughts are when stuck there. Till the time when they all just abandon their cars and start walking freely on the road. A superb metaphor of life, the baggages we carry and how stuck we are with nowhere to go.

There was a time when the music video was an art form in itself. Am not really sure if that still holds true.

A sort of homecoming

I've been consciously avoiding listening to too much of Mark's music. That's what forced me to get into Alanis Morissette, U2, Neil Diamond, Gilbert O'Sullivan, UB40, Cat Stevens, Osibisa and Bob Dylan over the last few days. It was good. Rediscovered a lot of music, long forgotten. Was also amazed at how easily all the lyrics flowed back even of the songs that one hasn't heard for maybe over a decade or so.

Then came a day when it was too much to decide what to listen to. That's when I set the iPhone to 'all songs' and started playing them alphabetically and began the drive to work.

And then it happened. Some three or four songs down, came the song, 'All that matters' from the album Shangri-La. And it was all that mattered. Because that's when I realized what is meant by a sense of homecoming.

" "

One thing I believe in: say nothing if you've got nothing to say.

Lazy day

Did nothing but watch seven episodes of Shield today. Cold's been getting worse. And using that pretext to do nothing else.

Feeling a little heavy headed with too much TV now. Good night world.

Coldy head

Have a bad cold today.
Stuffed nose.
Hurting throat.
Heavy head.

But I'm still going for a school reunion.

Some notes and reminders to myself

You start too many sentences with 'And' and 'But'.
Eat lesser.
Keep changing the genres of books, TV and films you pick up.
Pick up the guitar again.
Smile more.
Look a little beyond the obvious with every person.
Likewise, with every situation.
Sandra Bullock is cute but not too much as a blonde.
Don't buy any more books or DVDs till you're done with what you already have.
No matter how tempting the bookshop sales are.
Joining the gym is worth sacrificing some sleep.
Everything works out eventually.

Alas, it's Alanis

Yesterday, while chatting with a friend, Alanis Morissette came into the conversation. Incidentally just a couple of days ago, while updating my music library I had rediscovered her music and put it in my iPhone.

This morning I heard Jagged Little Pill while coming to work. And I was amazed at how amazing her music is. The lyrics especially are extremely heartfelt. She really is one jagged little pill.

Every song of hers is a catharsis. She's obviously had a lot of men in her life and looks like none of the relationships worked out. And every song brings this out in various aspects.

I believe her following albums are a lot more mellow. Hope she's found some much needed love in her life.

On sad endings and justice at the end of it all

Had a big discussion with a friend about a film script that he's written. Frankly I was quite honoured and flattered that he sought my opinion about his work. Probably he takes my film reviews quite seriously.

Anyway, coming back to the script. It is fabulous. There is a lot of pathos in the storyline and it can really make a wonderfully sensitive film. However, the one thing sorely lacking in it was a sense of justice in the end.

I feel, every story must have justice at the end of it all. This does not mean that it has to be a happy ending. Even if it is a tragedy and all the good guys have to die in the end, the audience must feel a sense of rightness when they do. Futile endings only leave you with a feeling of being cheated. Somewhere, that is the essential difference between fiction and reality. Don't we all want to escape the futility of life to some extent, when we willingly suspend disbelief and accept a false reality for a finite time?

In the course of my discussions with my scriptwriter friend, we discussed several tragic film endings. One was of Rang De Basanti. Though all the good guys die in the end, they do manage to get their message across to the entire nation before dying. That allows one to extrapolate the story and understand that ultimately justice was served. They didn't die in vain.

Another realisation that came to me, which had eluded me so far, was why I didn't like the movie, 'The Bicycle Thieves'. The Vittorio De Sica masterpiece, which actually inspired even Satyajit Ray to make films, has been a bone of contention between me and a lot of other film lovers. The reason why I instinctively disliked the film (though it is absolutely amazing in the way it portrays emotions and every other aspect of film-making) is that the ending leaves you feeling futile. It is the same way one feels when one sees children begging at signals. A feeling of helplessness at the way the world is, leading to denial and repression of those emotions. This leads to you feeling that it was pointless spending that money, and more importantly time, on that piece of work. I realise that this futility is what depresses the audience more than just a tragic ending. And no one wants to spend good money to get depressed.

Talking of endings, the best ending of a movie ever according to me is of Children of Heaven. I would rate this movie as my number one movie of all time. The end is extremely paradoxical and yet so right. It would be a pity to give away the movie and the ending in a post. But whoever reads this, must watch that movie to know what I'm trying to say.

I hope my scriptwriter friend makes a fabulous movie and it is a huge success - commercially and with the critics. And I hope that I managed to somewhere play some small part in it.

Slipped up

Was just too busy yesterday to blog. So will make up for it with two posts today. This is the first of those.

The day off

Shouldn't I be exempt from writing today? It is Sunday after all. But let's see... I did eat. So there's no reason why I shouldn't post a line.

Didn't do much today. Watched a slow, boring movie called Doubt. Stars Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Brilliant performances - one wouldn't have expected less from a stellar cast like that. But a little too slow and pretentious.

Have to read a script written by a friend. He's been waiting for feedback for the whole week. Must finish it tonight.

The next week awaits. It will be fabulous.

Day four. Still going strong.

What do people generally blog about?

Sometimes about views on their areas of interest. These could be serious or not-so-serious.

Sometimes it could be to vent out emotions. These are almost always serious. Because, when life is generally going good, there's not much to vent.

Sometimes it is nonsense.

For me this is another way of getting some discipline in life. I like to blog. It would be a pity if I lose it just out of laziness. Most of the times, I feel I might not have anything worthwhile to write about. But since I've resolved 'No day without a line', I find that once I start typing, it does start making sense and more often than not, I do find something worthwhile to write about.

A little update: Finished Season 8 of 24. Jack Bauer has saved the world three times over in a single day. And like always, with a great personal price to pay. But despite that, it really is quite watchable. I like the way his character has been etched out. Though a little incredible at times, it does have a lot of shades and one can identify with his angsts and sorrows.

Also finished the fourth Jack Reacher novel by Lee Child. Again an incredible character but hugely readable. He is Rambo and Sherlock Holmes rolled into one. I like the writing style and the plot. His novels also give out some interesting trivia tidbits.

Have picked up 'The Pixar Touch'. Really looking forward to reading that one. Firstly, it is a Steve Jobs venture. And secondly, they have made some of the most amazing examples of what creativity, art and technology can bring together. Wish I could work there.

There. Have just belted out a few hundred words. Turned out this post has been about nonsense at the end of it all.

But I wrote today. That's what matters.

Today

Today was about:

Being productive.
Getting into arguments
Fun.
Fulfilling.
Catching up.
Moving on.
Balancing.
Discussing books and movies.
A long meaningful conversation.
A meaningless talk.
New DVDs.
No Facebook.
Cracking two presentations well.
Staying unaffected.
Rising above.

Sound-check

When a tree falls in the middle of a dense jungle and no one hears it, then does it make a sound?

I re-started posting random thoughts and this was the first random thought that came to mind. I was wondering if anyone ever watches this space anymore. So it really wouldn't make any difference right?

But apparently, there was a camper in the woods when the tree fell. The camper probably heard a slight rustle and felt a little breeze from the tree falling. And probably just looked up and took notice.

Thanks for that, camper.

No day without a line

This is what I thought today when I told myself that I must re-start this space. The whole day just came and went in flurry of activity and the resolution was almost broken even before it was started getting implemented. Nevertheless, here we are and here's the first of what's hopefully going to be a long line of posts.

2010 so far

Six months into the year and the following has been achieved.

Books:

1. Die Trying, Lee Child
2. Between the Assassinations, Aravind Adiga
3. Four past midnight, Stephen King
4. The Magic Finger, Roald Dahl
5. My name is Red, Orhan Pamuk
6. Next, Michael Crichton
7. The New Human Revolution Volume 1, Daisaku Ikeda
8. The Immortals of Meluha, Amish
9. The Reincarnationist, M J Rose
10. Tripwire, Lee Child
11. The Prestige, Christopher Priest
12. Black Out, Lisa Unger

Movies:

1. Sherlock Holmes
2. Ishqiya
3. Rann
4. My name is Khan
5. Karthik calling Karthik
6. Insomnia
7. Speed Racer
8. LSD
9. Pirates of the Silicon Valley
10. Death of a President
11. Shutter Island
12. It's complicated
13. District 9
14. All the rivers run
15. Robin Hood
16. Kites
17. Up in the air
18. PS: I love you
19. Rajneeti
20. Sex and the city 2
21. Shrek Forever
22. Natarang
23. Mission Impossible
24. Good Fellas
25. Harishchandrachi Factory
26. Mission Impossible 2
27. Mission Impossible 3

TV:

1. Dirty Sexy Money, Season 1
2. Prison break, Season 4
3. Desperate Housewives, Season 5
4. The Shield, Season 1
5. Heroes, Season 3
6. Lost, Season 6
7. Dirty Sexy Money, Season 2

The following is in progress.

Books:

1. Dubai, Jim Krane
2. The New Human Revolution Volume 2, Daisaku Ikeda

TV:

1. 24, Season 8

Suicides

Another supermodel committed suicide. Such an insult to the term supermodel. There's nothing super or model about ending one's life, is there?

What drives people to suicide? The psychiatrists claim depression as the leading cause. And that makes me wonder how a perfectly endowed human being in terms of body and mind would end up feeling depressed. There are millions of others who are uglier, poorer and struggling to get that elusive break in life. Shouldn't they have more reasons to kill themselves?

Ultimately suicide is probably the most selfish act that a human being can commit. There must be some kind of allure to the thought of how people will react to one's death. Will the unloving boyfriend repent? Will the lost fans come back? Will it make front page news or at least a few column centimeters in the city news section?

But most often nobody really cares. I'm sure the boyfriend, far from repenting, is cursing her for making his life hell. The fans who are as fickle as they come are just enjoying the sordid details. And the media will move on to the next big catastrophe as soon as it happens.

So what has been achieved? Nothing. If at all, only undesirable reactions. What if the attempt had been unsuccessful like so many of them are? She would have gone on living. She would have continued being miserable while pretending all is well. She would have been forced to take treatment for her depression. And probably she would have been better off. Anything would be better than dead actually. Because it's only when alive that one can take action and show appreciation. Action to improve and appreciation for how one is better off than others. As dead, one is worse than useless.

There's a lot of talk about how such people need understanding and support. My feeling is that they have too much of that already which makes them too dependent on it in the first place. If they would have had a few lesser people giving them that support which actually weakens them, they would probably have become tougher.

Ultimately self-pity has only one cure - total and complete dismissal. Because that's the only thing that doesn't fuel it further. And if the self-pity is self-sustaining then such people are pitiable anyway. And who best to give one that pity but oneself? Don't they love themselves so much anyway? At least they can be self-fulfilled in one way!

To all the people who contemplate suicide I have just one thing to say. Life is a great big joyride. Enjoy the thrill. Don't jump off the roller-coaster. It serves no purpose. Wait till it rolls into the stands and you will feel accomplished. It's not so bad. Close your eyes and scream if you like. But more importantly see the five year old in the next seat having the time of his life and find courage. It can only come from within.

The little yellow plastic ball

I was standing at the gate of my office, talking on the phone with a client. Busy with my work, trying to convince her about a big important strategic decision to be taken. This was about the theme of an annual report which will no doubt mean a lot to them in terms of prestige and money. The usual stuff about how we need to present the figures of a multi-million dollar corporation in a manner that is chest-thumping and yet with the appropriate dose of humility.

Suddenly a little yellow plastic ball rolled up to my feet. It was a bright, shiny ball, maybe the size of an orange. It had a lot of dirt marks on it, but the bright colour was still shining through. I picked it up and looked around to see who it belonged to. That’s when I noticed a little boy. Not more than 4 years old. Dark, wearing tattered clothes and extremely dirty. He was standing tentatively behind a bush, his eyes riveted on probably the only possession he had in the world – now in my hand. I couldn’t help but smile at the little kid. I could sense fear – not of me – he was too young to know that. But there surely was a primordial anxiety of losing something you love. He didn’t move an inch, just kept looking in turn at me and at the toy with his bright, dark eyes.

I smiled at him and called him to take it from me. He still didn’t move. Then after a few seconds, the love of the possession overcame the fear of the unknown and he walked towards me. Completely ignoring my smile, he just reached out for the toy and ran back to his parents. They were hard at work too. Both mother and father, unskilled labourers, digging at the side of the road.

Before I knew it, the little kid was lost in his old world again. I could still see the brightness of the yellow ball in his grubby little hands even from the distance.

2010 so far

Three months into the new year and the following has been achieved.

Books:

1. Die Trying, Lee Child
2. Between the Assassinations, Aravind Adiga
3. Four past midnight, Stephen King
4. The Magic Finger, Roald Dahl
5. My name is Red, Orhan Pamuk.

Films:

1. Sherlock Holmes
2. Isqiya
3. Rann
4. My name is Khan
5. Karthik calling Karthik
6. Insomnia
7. Speed Racer
8. LSD

TV:

1. Dirty Sexy Money, Season 1
2. Prison Break, Season 4
3. Desperate Housewives, Season 5

The following is work in progress.

Books:

1. Next, Michael Crichton
2. The Reincarnationist, M J Rose
3. The New Human Revolution Volume 1, Daisaku Ikeda

TV:

1. The Shield, Season 1
2. Lost, Season 6
3. House, Season 1

The following is yet to begin.

Books:

1. The Piano Tuner, Daniel Mason
2. The Immortals of Meluha, Amish
3. On Writing, Stephen King
4. Tripwire, Lee Child
5. The Prestige, Christopher Priest
6. The Time Traveller's Wife, Audrey Niffeneger
7. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
8. On Beauty, Zadie Smith
9. Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini
10. The Pirate Latitudes, Michael Crichton

TV:

1. Heroes, Season 3
2. 24, Season 8

Films:

1. Funny Games
2. Dr Strangelove: Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb
3. Taxi Driver
4. Tickets
5. The Sea Inside
6. Up
7. The Lives of Others
8. In the mood for love
9. White
10. Father

The other guy

I have a little monkey at home.

He is six years old.
His eyes twinkle with mischief.
His cheeks have slight dimples.
He has a flat nose and two big nostrils.
He loves eating fruit and nuts and I can watch him do that for hours.
He has grubby hands.
His overall personality is like that of a bratty urchin.
He smiles most of the time.
He spends time with kids much older than him.
He is far ahead of kids his age and always falling short when compared to the kids he hangs out with.
He has become hardy and tough as a result.
He loves to hug. He is like a baby koala bear. He doesn't really need much else.
He can be happy sitting with me just hanging out as long as he gets his hugs and kisses every ten minutes.
He can't walk straight - he only skips and hops.
He frowns when he is concentrating on something.
He pouts when he is concentrating on something.
His voice is getting hoarse by shouting all the time.
He can't stop talking.
He enjoys his food.
He has a quick temper.
He is extremely expressive in his affections.
He is learning to play the piano.
He can download games on almost any phone.
He is amazing at Wii and PS3.
His knowledge of cricket and IPL is better than mine.
His knowledge of Japanese cartoon characters is better than most.
He is our lucky charm. And to think we always wanted a 'she' instead.
His name was decided after he was born - we had only thought of girl names.
His face even today looks like how it looked in utero in a sonography picture.
He undertook his dental treatment more bravely than I do.
He has three scars on his face.
He will soon be coming out of his brother's shadow when Amun leaves for another school.
He's been known to beat up kids twice his age.
He has got beautiful eyebrows.

His name is Aashay - it means the True Entity.

A decade gone, a decade to come

Amun turned 10 today.

I remember the day he was born. In fact, Smita's labour had started the previous evening. The stock market had crashed earlier in the afternoon of the 14th of March and we had been foolish enough to do some reckless punting with the noble intentions of repaying our home loan. But as luck would have it, in a matter of hours, we had tripled the debt that we were originally in.

The shock was a little too much for both of us and especially for her, as she immediately went into labour. Maybe because of the stress or whatever, as it turned out, the pregnancy turned complicated. We admitted her to the maternity home at around 8 pm and the doctor told us that this could be early labour. But either because we were fortunate or because he was kind; he decided to stay back in the hospital for us. As it turned out, she did need an emergency caeserian operation around midnight and it could have been pretty bad if things had been different.

And that's how Amun came into our lives - exactly ten years ago. His birth gave me a first-hand experience of fatherhood in a single stroke. I was suddenly in a different stage of life. There was another little seven-and-a-half pound bundle of flesh and bones that had entered the scene. Utterly incapable of doing anything except breathing, bawling and excreting, but still surpassing in anything else that came before it in imparting joy on the beholder.

We were heavily in debt. There was absolutely nothing on the horizon which looked even remotely like a saviour. But that day was the happiest in my life yet. Somehow, the love that one feels for an off-spring is not something that can be explained, it can only be experienced.

Today he has turned ten. The last 3,652 days have transformed him in a million different ways. Then he was an 11 inch baby. Today he is 58 inches tall. Then he would sleep most of the day. Today he is the fastest runner in school for two years in a row. Then he would only cry. Today he talks and sings in school operas. Then he would steal my heart, he still does that.

Even this morning when I saw him still sleeping, I was thinking of him as an 11 inch bundle swaddled in sheets. The same serene expression, the same smooth cheeks, still wrapped in blankets. I kept looking at him till he stirred awake, stretched, opened his eyes and smiled. He used to do the same thing ten years ago and would get the same hugs and kisses then too for just doing that.

Our lives have moved up tremendously since March 15, 2000. The house where Amun was born was in an old building, where we had to carry bottled drinking water home. The lift would not work half the times and we lived on the seventh floor. The roof leaked and the approach road to our house gave up about half a kilometer before reaching our building itself. But that was our home and it was complete and happy. Till today, I never regret spending those three years in that house - our first.

Today, things are diametrically opposite. We have more bank balance now than the debt that we got into when the markets crashed. We have a fantastic house with more things in it than we need. We are settled in our jobs and careers and economically on the upward trend. Thankfully, nothing is wanting. Today, this is our home since the last three years and will be for the foreseeable future.

The years have just flown and as it is with years, will never return. Some new years will come and go and before one knows it, we will be somewhere else ten years from now - the year 2020. I wonder how and where we would be.

Will Amun, now 20 years old, be a six-footer? I'm sure he will be tall and lanky - as that's how he is today. Will he be sporting long hair? Will he be good at guitar? Will he be playing some sport at some significant competitive level? Will he know what he wants to do in life? Will he have found the love of his life yet? Will he have gone through heartbreaks? Will he have experienced failures?

I wonder. But one thing is for sure. Even on the morning of the 15th of March 2020, I can imagine myself tiptoeing into his room and see him still asleep under his blankets and feel the same warm gush of love for the same bundle of flesh and bones that is now so big that it spills out of the bed.

Getting Back

It's really been some time since the last random thought was posted here. Not that there haven't been thoughts, but I guess they were too random to be chronicled.

Anyway, before one knows it, we are already smack in the middle of the third month of the new (?) year. Such a cliche to say that time really flies. But then it really does.

Amun is on a movie watching spree. He started with watching the X-men trilogy. Then saw Lord of the Rings. Then moved on to Matrix series. Now he has finished the Star Wars Prequels and is currently in the middle of the Star Wars series. I am so proud of him! That is what he has been upto in the new year. I plan to now watch Pirates of the Caribbean series (though I hate Johnny Depp) with him together. Soon maybe even get him on to Lost and Heroes. Am I a bad influence?

Aashay is just jumping around trying to do everything and nothing all at once. He is just used to tagging behind his brother, pretending he is much older than he actually is. The kids have started tennis and piano. They seem to be enjoying tennis, not so sure about the piano.

I want to buy a smaller car, but I'm being held back on a leash. Test drove the Nano. Felt like a little souped up auto-rickshaw. I loved it. It would be such a great statement to drive the cheapest car in the world to work. But, it might have to wait for now.

Nothing much else to write about that is random but not too random. This post is more or less for the sake of a post.

Calvinosaurus

It's been some time since I wrote about my favourite six year-old, Calvin.

Like I'd said earlier, I'm still in the middle of volume 2. Though, it is slowly nearing its end. After that just one more volume remains to go before the series ends in a clear white sheet.

These days Calvin has dug up some old junk from his backyard. He has somehow convinced himself that these are priceless fossils of a yet-to-be-discovered dinosaur. He believes that this dinosaur is going to make him rich and famous and get him out of his current drudgery.

But like everything else, he knows somewhere that it is nothing but somebody's picnic junk that he's dug up. He can be very imaginative. The dinosaur he has constructed together with a knife, forks, soda bottle, paper cups and a few cans does look pretty convincing, especially to him.

Hobbes did try to talk some sense into him. But what does he know? He too is nothing but a figment of Calvin's imagination at the end of the day.

It doesn't really matter. Calvin is happy with the new dinosaur he has discovered. That's all that matters. Like everything else in his world, there's no line between fantasy and reality anyway.

Right turn

The road coming from my office ends at a junction. You can turn right and you go to Andheri station. You turn left and you go towards SEEPZ, Powai and further on to Kurla. You can go straight too. But that one ends in a dead-end. There's never any going straight.

Turning right means reaching the station where one can get off and take a train for an onward destination. That implies maybe 4 kms and 25 minutes of travel time.

But if someone needs to go left, the travel time is brought down to 300 m and 30 seconds at best.

I always take the right turn. I can't change that.

The New Year

First four days are down. And already a lot has happened.

The new year's eve was spent at a friend/acquaintance's place. Somebody who stays in the building. Didn't want to drive. The company was ok except for Jack who was great. Tired and fatigued with three stiff ones down, I was almost asleep. The good part was that a couple of guys were playing the guitar and the first song of the year was a raucously sung Wish you were here.

On the stagger back home I twisted my ankle. The first was spent in painful sleep but thankfully the x-ray ruled out a fracture. The evening was spent in a condolence meeting of my friend's father who has recently died.

The second was spent in more pain and added to it was diarrhea. My car that had got badly rammed was taken away to the garage and is still not back. It won't be for at least a week more. Good. Can't drive comfortably anyway. The day was also spent in gloom after a fight with Dad. And an errant message in the evening brought forebodings of further complications too.

The third was better. Started the guitar classes. The teacher was quite impressed considering it was my first class ever. Came home. Practiced more. Ankle slightly better. Stomach slightly better.

The fourth was the first working day of the year. Still feeling unwell, had to go for Amun's school admission interview. That came through and he's gotten into the school of our choice. Reached office only after 12 dressed in a t-shirt that said 'Everlast'. Got some goodies. Exchanged some mails. Reached some plateaus. And went back home by 2.

Resolution: focus only on work.